Involve &Learn

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. 

--Oscar Wilde 

Different Opportunities:

 http://www.nsf.gov/funding/pgm_summ.jsp?pims_id=5517&from=fund


http://www.nsa.gov/careers/opportunities_4_u/students/index.shtml


http://grist.org/

 http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/seafoodwatch.aspx



http://www.credoaction.com/


http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1


http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2


http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3

 http://www.aldertons.com/english-.htmhttp://www.aldertons.com/english-.htm


http://www.spaceweather.com/

Somewhere in my life time

Somewhere in my lifetime
You've been here with me
 so close to me

Somewhere in my lifetime
I have kissed your lips
Lips so tenderly
They've been kissing me
They were visions
Of so long ago

You know memories come and go
So they say
People say, yes they do
Let visions of what
Of what will be

Somewhere in my lifetime
It was you and me...
You and me..
Somewhere in my lonely dreams
You've been here with me
so close to me

And I've been loving you
Somewhere in my lifetime
It was you...and....me...

Hair Style

I recently received an email from my friend who is getting her hair cut soon.And she wanted to know how to choose a good haircut.There is no recipe for this unfortunately.But here are the things I think are most important in terms of getting a haircut

1.  Either know what you want, or shut up.
   Oh, I know, I’m so mean. Basically what I’m trying to say is that you either have a good idea of what you want as an end result, or you listen to your hairdresser & take their advice. I suggest having a little faith & crossing your fingers, it’s always more exciting that way — but if you want something specific be sure to COMMUNICATE WELL.
2.  Develop a relationship with your hairdresser.
   No, that doesn’t mean taking them home to your mother! Your most valuable asset in getting a good haircut is having a stylist whose opinion you trust. You will probably need to shop around until you find someone you really like. The most expensive hairdresser is not necessarily the best, either. A great hairdresser should make you feel at ease, make suggestions, listen to your opinion & have a good haircut themselves! You wouldn’t take financial advice from someone who was broke, would you? Same applies here.
3.  Think about your lifestyle & what the climate is like where you live.
   In the mornings, do you like to fiddle with products, straighteners, spray-in conditioners or do you like to just get up & go? Are you active? Do you go swimming a lot? Is the humidity likely to make your hair go limp? Is the wind going to blow it out of shape? Is your working environment conservative or relaxed? Do you often wear hats or head-scarves? Do you drive a convertible? All of these things will have an impact on what kind of hairstyle is going to work for you.
4. Consider your hair texture.
   Is your hair straight, curly or wavy?
5.  Remember that you’re not going to look like Jennifer Aniston.    Celebrity haircuts are not going to change your face. Also, a lot of those haircuts require HOURS of styling.Do not fall for that!
6. Having said that… speak your mind.
   If you don’t like what they’ve done, or they haven’t done what they said they would, you don’t have to pay — or they should at least fix it up for free.
7.  Work out your face shape.
   This is a crucial step, as it will make the difference between something that makes you look horsey, bloated or gorgeous. Here’s how to work out your face shape:
   
   There are a few ways, so I’ll let you take your pick. The first is to tie (or hold) your hair back off your face, look in a mirror, & try to figure it out. The second is to outline the shape of your face in lipstick (or a whiteboard pen) on a mirror. The third is to use maths (not my bag, but maybe it’s yours). Here’s how you do it. Get a tape measure & measure across the top of your cheekbones, across your jaw from widest point to widest point, across the widest part of your forehead & from the tip of your hairline to the bottom of your chin. Write down the measurements, then compare them. If your face is oval, the length will be equal to one & a half times the width. If you’re round-faced, your face is pretty much as wide as it is long. Oblong, your face is longer than it is wide. Heart-shaped faces are narrow at the jaw & wide at the cheekbones or forehead. If your face is square it will be about as wide as it is long — like a round face, but you should be able to see the squareness in your face pretty easily. If you have a diamond-shaped face, it will be widest at the cheekbones with a narrow forehead & jaw which measure about the same.
   
   Please excuse the celebrity pictures, it’s just the easiest way to show different haircuts on the same face shape!
   
    Oval faces:
   
   Most hairstyles are going to look good on you, so be happy! Short cuts look as good on you as medium-length or long hair. One thing you should avoid is a heavy fringe/bangs. There are a lot of celebrities with your face shape — Cameron Diaz, Uma Thurman, Julia Roberts, Tyra Banks (though her forehead is FIERCE), & Elle Macpherson.
   
    Oblong or square faces:
   
   
   You should go for short or medium styles, to balance the length of your long face. A lot of hair at the side of your face will suit you. A soft fringe or bangs will shorten the length of your face too. If you wear your hair too long, you risk looking horsey, so keep it above shoulder-length for best results. These celebrities have oblong faces — Gwyneth Paltrow, Janet Jackson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Giselle Bundchen.
   
    Round faces:
   
   Try a style with a lot of volume on the top of your head, an off-centre part or anything longer than chin-length. Fullness on the crown with the rest of your hair cut in close to the sides of your face will make your face appear longer & thinner. You should stay away from anything chin-length & rounded, as you’ll look like you’re wearing a helmet. Also avoid a straight fringe or bangs. Not flattering! See Kate Bosworth, Kirsten Dunst, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Drew Barrymore & Christina Ricci for ideas.
   
    Heart faces:
   
    Go for chin-length or longer styles. A bob that ends at your chin will make your face look more equally proportioned. You should try something that emphasises your cheekbones — a dramatic pixie cut will look great on you. You shouldn’t go for something with a lot of height at the crown of your head. These gals have heart-shaped faces too: Katie Holmes, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez & Reese Witherspoon.
   
    Diamond faces:
   
    Almost everything works for you. Try not to wear too much hair on your face, as you probably have super features. Other women with your face shape include the glamourous Katharine Hepburn, Linda Evangelista & Sophia Loren.
   
    What now?
   
   The above information should give you a guide as to what suits your face. Now is the time to do some research. Check out the links below & if you can, go & pick up some hairstyle magazines. Bookmark the ones you like & take them to your hairdresser. If you’re not sure about the salon, most places will do a free consultation, & this will give you a good indication as to their competence. When you make your appointment, be sure to clearly communicate any concerns. Another tip: when they’re styling your hair at the end, ask them for tips on how you can replicate it at home.
   
    Extra For Experts:
   
    http://beauty.about.com/od/hairstylephotogalleries/ss/hairgallery.htm
   
    http://www.ukhairdressers.com/hair_move/face%20shape.asp
   
   

Intense Music

I love intense music.,,intense music leads to intense desire to create or think or make love or take an adventure or a sudden risk


So I thought I’d share some of my findings with you:
“Sinfoni Deo”

"Mother"

 "Ameno"

Simple Life:The joys and sorrows of living alone

I love my apartment. I have plenty of room for just me and my expected/unexpected guests.  I face east so that means sunshine early in the morning.  Sunshine motivates me to get up.

I’ve always loved living alone more than living with someone else, no matter how well I get along with the other person.   I love the independence of doing what I want, whenever I want to do it.  Everything is under my control – when I do the dishes, where my stuff goes, what hangs on the walls, what covers the windows, what shower curtain hangs in the bathroom.   I get to talk to myself out loud if I want to.  I get to say nothing at all, all day long. 

At night, I like that during that time of the month when I’m in pain and just want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep, I can do that.  

My apartment is quiet.  I like it that way.   My apartment is my home.  My apartment is my hiding place.  My place is where my dreams, thoughts and wishes happen.  My apartment is where I can listen to stupid pop songs and classical music and watch cartoons at 3am, if I want to.

And as of late, my apartment is my favorite place to be when I’m with the people I love.I’m starting to warm up to that idea: to invite others into my home.  I know, it sounds silly but I’ve always been used to separating MY place from the rest of the world.  I used to treat it like a tree house that nobody else knew about.  A castle you could only see if I gave you the secret password. 

I like my place because it’s a lot like me.  I like to live alone because I feel more like myself when I can manage my living space

. 

But, like anything, living alone has its sorrows.   I have to do all of the cleaning, all of the cooking, all of the shopping, the laundry on my own.  I have to clean the litter box, check the mail, pay the bills all on my own.   And if I’m sick, I have to go for a walk to grab tissues and medicine at the pharmacy.  I’m on my own to go to the doctor, the dentist, the hospital.

Living alone means not having anyone there to share the load of tasks, or to take care of me.  Not that I need to be taken care of, but I think there’s a part inside all of us that really doesn’t mind if a roommate or lover takes out the trash once in a while or picks up pain killers at the pharmacy when you most need them.  If it’s with a lover, it also means a hug, a caress. If it’s a roommate, it means the presence of someone else in case something goes wrong or when things go right.

I have met people who can’t live alone.   They just can’t imagine not having someone there sharing the space with them.  I’ve always been the opposite.  There are times when I’ve enjoyed sharing a space with someone else, especially with my sister.  We lived together couple of years and for the most part, it worked out well.  But, I thrive on my own.

But, then there are these little instances when I wish there was a quiet someone nearby.  I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to do anything.  I just want a quiet someone.  There, on the couch.

I was hooked the arts by Romero Britto

Stop for one moment! Take a deep breathe. Now, take a look at this art in the below It is a simple heart. Yet, it is a colorful and abstract art.

 It is the art of Romero Britto. This artistic heart is Zig Zag Heart! In a sense, you might think this is reality art as the course our hearts might take in life would probably best be described as a "zig zag" path. Up and down; in and out ... and often sideways before it might break and then fail.

The art of Romero Britto has captured my heart!  OMG, he designs luggages, luggage tags, cutesy teapots, mugs, trivets, wallets, cat figurines, bear figurines oh my! And so much more. I seriously WANT one of his luggage, but I can't pick just one!

PETER PRENSİBİ

PETER PRENSİBİ

Peter prensibini şöyle özetlemek mümkün: Sıkı hiyerarşik bir yapıya sahip kurumlarda bir mevkide başarılı olan şahıslar, -gerekli donanıma sahip olup olmadıklarına bakılmaksızın- sonraki mevkie kaydırılırlar.( bir ödül olarak )

Bu tür kurumlarda idari hiyerarşide yer alan kişiler daima bir üst mevkie yükselmek isterler; yükselirler, yükselirler tâ ki verimsiz olacakları yere kadar.Verimsiz oldukları mevikide çakılırlar. Ama bu mevikide iken verdikleri yeni kararlarla yeni ehliyetsiz kişileri sonraki mevkilere yükseltirler.

Bu tür hiyerarşik kurumlarda işler hiyerarşi piramidinin alt kısımlarında yer alan çalışanlar tarafından götürülür.Dolayısıyla hiyerarşik yapının üstlerindeki verimsizlik bu kademeler kuruma felaket getirecek kararlara imza atmadığı sürece görülür hale gelmez.

Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…

The book How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bedby Graham Masterton has a chapter on how to choose a lover. It highlights red flags for men who need to be approached with caution. There is a whole list of potentially bad signs, including neglecting to shower in the previous week and talking only about himself.
The list of bad features also includes professions to avoid. Can you guess the first profession on the list? OK, I think you should be able to meta-guess given the fact that I am writing about it. Indeed, the list on page 64 starts:

Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…

I am an expert on NOT avoiding mathematicians: in fact, I’ve married three of them and dated x number of them. That isn’t necessarily because I like mathematicians so much; I just do not meet anyone else.
When I was a student I had a theory that mathematicians are different from physicists. My theory was based on two conferences on mathematical physics I attended in a row. The first one was targeted for mathematicians and the second for physicists. The first one was very quiet, and the second one was all boozing and partying. So I decided that mathematicians are introverts and physicists are extroverts. I was sure then that my second husband chose a wrong field, because he liked booze and parties.
By now, years later, I’ve met many more mathematicians, and I have to tell you that they are varied. It is impossible and unfair to describe mathematicians as a type. One mathematician even became the star of an erotic movie. I write this essay for girls who are interested in dating mathematicians. I am not talking about math majors here, I am talking about mathematicians who do serious research. Do I have a word of advice?
I do have several words of caution. While they don’t apply to all mathematicians, it’s worth keeping them in mind.

First, there are many mathematicians who, like my first husband, are very devoted to mathematics. I admire that devotion, but it means that they plan to do mathematics on Saturday nights and prefer to spend vacation at their desks. If they can only fit in one music concert per year, it is not enough for me. Of course, this applies to anyone who is obsessed by his work.

Second, there are mathematicians who believe that they are very smart. Smarter than many other people. They expand their credibility in math to other fields. They start going into biology, politics and relationships with the charisma of an expert, when in fact they do not have a clue what they are talking about.

Third, there are mathematicians who enjoy their math world so much that they do not see much else around them. The jokes are made about this type of mathematician:

What is the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted one? The extroverted one looks at your shoes, rather than at his own shoes.

Yes, I have met a lot of mathematicians like that. Do you think that their wives complain that their husbands do not notice their new haircuts? No. Such triviality is not worth mentioning. Their wives complain that their husbands didn’t notice that the furniture was repossessed or that their old cat died and was replaced by a dog. My third husband was like that. At some point in my marriage I discovered that he didn’t know the color of my eyes. He didn’t know the color of his eyes either. He wasn’t color-blind: he was just indifferent. I asked him as a personal favor to learn the color of my eyes by heart and he did. My friend Irene even suggested creating a support group for the wives of such mathematicians.

While you need to watch out for those traits, there are also things I like about mathematicians. Many mathematicians are indeed very smart. That means it is interesting to talk to them. Also, I like when people are driven by something, for it shows a capacity for passion.

Mathematicians are often open and direct. Many mathematicians, like me, have trouble making false statements. I stopped playing —Mafia— because of that. I prefer people who say what they think and do not hold back.

There is a certain innocence among some mathematicians, and that reminds me of the words of the Mozart character in Pushkin’s poetic drama, Mozart and Salieri: —And genius and villainy are two things incompatible, aren’t they?— I feel this relates to mathematicians as well. Many mathematicians are so busy understanding mathematics, they are not interested in plotting and playing games.
Would I ever date a mathematician again? Yes, I would.

Written by Tanya

The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie...

 Our relationships are mirrors-who we choose, who we let choose us, how people treat us, how we allow ourselves to be treated, how we stay, how we leave, how we handle the hard patches and the good times-it’s all a microcosm of our own personalities. Every relationship you’ve had says something about who you are and what you want, even if (especially if!) the relationship didn’t work. Often, when a relationship fails, it’s even more defining and instructive. Each relationship gets you to a new place and can help you see what you don’t want as well as what you really do want.

Finding your truth by thoughtfully examining your past relationships is the only way to use your truth for better future relationships. What happened, and how does that clarify matters for you? What do you want?What are your deal breakers? Only you can answer these questions.

Relationships are like recipes. When a recipe doesn’t work, you have to do something differently the next time. Change the ingredients and you change the result. You take it or leave it—keep what worked in each relationship as you choose the next one, but learn to leave behind the dysfunctional parts. It takes some self-analysis, but you can do that. Anyone can.And if your relationship does work, learn to leave it alone. Don’t over think what’s good. Are you creating problems where none existed before? That says something about you, too.

My past relationships have consisted of what I sometimes think of as ill-conceived recipes. Each was missing something, or had too much of something else. Whatever your story is take a magnifying glass to it and look to see if there’s a flaw in your approach to relationships-how you started, how you communicated, where you’ve been, where you are now, and what it all means to you. What you find there can tell you everything you need to know about what you should do next-what you should take, what you should leave, who you want to be with..

Your love should never be offered….

Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger,
Only to someone who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive.

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me”

There is no pleasure without a tincture of bitterness.

 Paulo Coelho

Personal Learning Networks- PLN

 For those who has never heard of anything about personal learning environments, it is time to join different learning networks. But what is a personal learning network, and why is it so helpful for educators nowadays?

 Well, let's take a look:

 A personal learning network consists of the people, places, and things that help you learn. By definition, every lifelong learner has a PLN, whether the person realizes it or not. Also, every person who has a PLN is a lifelong learner. Let’s imagine, for example, that you are a PhD student and working with middle school kids from science classes. Your PLN might look like the following:

Why is a PLN important?

Having an active personal learning network is important for a number of reasons:

1. Lifelong learning: A PLN helps you learn and grow. Your professional and personal development is important for you and your students. If you are an active, lifelong learner, you’ll naturally model that process for your students.
2. Community: All learning is social. When we learn something new, we want to share it with others. Having a PLN connects you with others, helping you share discoveries, triumphs, and troubles.
3. PD shift: Professional development has been shifting for some time now, from daylong sessions with speakers and room filled with teachers to a more individualized approach. A PLN helps you get a little professional development every day rather than all in one marathon session.
4. Conversation: Having a PLN puts you in the center of the educational conversation, letting you shape new trends and reform efforts.

How can I develop a PLN?

Start with what you have. Draw a cluster, putting yourself at the center and writing down all the people, places, and things that help you learn. Think about the following possibilities:

• Colleagues at your school or from previous experiences (depending your interest area)
• Students, from whom you learn every day
• Friends and family members
• Professional organizations such as the  NARST, HASTI, AERA, ASTE, NSTA, IJESE, NABT, CSTA
• Newsletters such as The Thoughtful Inquirer,Girls like Biology, Boys Like Physics.
• Social media such as Twitter (such as #edchat, #scichat, #sschat), Edweb, Linkedin
• Programs such as NOVA or Mythbusters (science teachers), Quest Atlantis, scienceline, learn atmospheric science explorers
• Books such as Inquire: A Guide to 21st Century Learning, Handbook of research on science education
• Conferences and other professional-development opportunities such as Webinars ,
• Museums, fairs, reenactments, and other educational experiences: The Museum of Science and Industry

Cirilciplak

                                            ( Nue couchee/1970)           

Çırılçıplak Küstahlığımı nezaketim götürdü Saadece kendime bakakaldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü Gizlenen insanların ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Selâmımı tanıdıklar götürdü. Saygı bekleyince alçaldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü Kendini beğenmişlerin ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Ağlamayı ölenler götürdü. Kendimi ölmez sanınca ufaldım, Kararsızlık bir an sürdü. Ölülerle dirilerin arasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Sonsuzluğu ufuklar götürdü. Yarattığım dünyaların içinde daraldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü. Başlangıç ile bitiş ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Aydınlığı bulutlar götürdü. Yıldızlara doğru yol aldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü. Varanlar ile duranlar ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak.

Özdemir Asaf

Bugun Farkli Birsey Deneyecegim

bugun
evet
bugun...
yeni bir sey deneyecegim
(yenilik...!)
iste boyle yazmayi
bir ayseozyilmazel
bazen biraz yilmazozdil
bir ergen kizin lise edebiyat dergisi coskusu
(uygunundan bir tane de murathan mungan siiri cakabilsem suraya resmi tamamlayacak)
boyle yazinca
...
sanirim cok etkileyici bir seyler
oluyor
hayatimizda
(senin hayatinda... benim hayatimda... biraz daha nokta koyayim gelmisken.................)

[arada kalkip yemegi karistirabiliyorum, nasil olsa bilinc akisi. biraz tuz. biraz enter tusu. biraz daha nokta....]

brian ferry roportajini okudum kalkmisken.
cok guzel kadinlarin
-mesela simarik modellerin-
pesine
dusmeyin demis.
(40 yasindan sonra anlamistir dedi 40 yasindan sonra anlayan bir baskasi)
brian agabey:
simarik model
senin elinin altinda olan
bir
olgu
(dur ne zamandir nokta koymadik.........)
bizim sagimiz
solumuz
(sonra tekrar saga. bazi seyler unutulmuyor: trt trafik egitimi)
calvin klein'in erkek modelleri
victoria'nin sirri melekleri ile
cevrili mi
sanirsin?

yeterince duygusal ve ic paralayici olamadigimi farkettigim icin biraz daha eften puften seylerden bahsetmeliyim onumuzdeki satirlarda.
(kizim enter'i unutma. uzun cumleyi ousterhout da yazar)

utu
utu yapmam gerektigi
hatirlatildi
(oh firsat bu firsat)
sen bana
eskiden
onu yap
bunu yap
demezdin
oysa... simdi?
utu yap ha. utu yap
utu
isitilmis bir demir parcasi:
bagrima basiyorum.
seni
bastigim gibi
(sembolik cinsel gondermeler)
....
...boyle yazinca beynim bosaliyor tamamen. simdi anladim niye tercih edilen bir stil oldugunu; allahim sen beni kisa cumlelerle imtihan etme yarabbim.
/over and out.

(buraya da siirsel bir alinti. orselenmislige dair bir seyler. yer kalirsa yasanmisliklar)

The Education of Women

(The Harvard Classics)

The Education of Women

Daniel Defoe

I HAVE often thought of it as one of the most barbarous customs in the world, considering us as a civilized and a Christian country, that we deny the advantages of learning to women. We reproach the sex every day with folly and impertinence; while I am confident, had they the advantages of education equal to us, they would be guilty of less than ourselves.
One would wonder, indeed, how it should happen that women are conversible at all; since they are only beholden to natural parts, for all their knowledge. Their youth is spent to teach them to stitch and sew or make baubles. They are taught to read, indeed, and perhaps to write their names, or so; and that is the height of a woman’s education. And I would but ask any who slight the sex for their understanding, what is a man (a gentleman, I mean) good for, that is taught no more? I need not give instances, or examine the character of a gentleman, with a good estate, or a good family, and with tolerable parts; and examine what figure he makes for want of education.
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond; and must be polished, or the lustre of it will never appear. And ’tis manifest, that as the rational soul distinguishes us from brutes; so education carries on the distinction, and makes some less brutish than others. This is too evident to need any demonstration. But why then should women be denied the benefit of instruction? If knowledge and understanding had been useless additions to the sex, GOD Almighty would never have given them capacities; for he made nothing needless. Besides, I would ask such, What they can see in ignorance, that they should think it a necessary ornament to a woman? or how much worse is a wise woman than a fool? or what has the woman done to forfeit the privilege of being taught? Does she plague us with her pride and impertinence? Why did we not let her learn, that she might have had more wit? Shall we upbraid women with folly, when ’tis only the error of this inhuman custom, that hindered them from being made wiser?
The capacities of women are supposed to be greater, and their senses quicker than those of the men; and what they might be capable of being bred to, is plain from some instances of female wit, which this age is not without. Which upbraids us with Injustice, and looks as if we denied women the advantages of education, for fear they should vie with the men in their improvements….
[They] should be taught all sorts of breeding suitable both to their genius and quality. And in particular, Music and Dancing; which it would be cruelty to bar the sex of, because they are their darlings. But besides this, they should be taught languages, as particularly French and Italian: and I would venture the injury of giving a woman more tongues than one. They should, as a particular study, be taught all the graces of speech, and all the necessary air of conversation; which our common education is so defective in, that I need not expose it. They should be brought to read books, and especially history; and so to read as to make them understand the world, and be able to know and judge of things when they hear of them.
To such whose genius would lead them to it, I would deny no sort of learning; but the chief thing, in general, is to cultivate the understandings of the sex, that they may be capable of all sorts of conversation; that their parts and judgements being improved, they may be as profitable in their conversation as they are pleasant.
Women, in my observation, have little or no difference in them, but as they are or are not distinguished by education. Tempers, indeed, may in some degree influence them, but the main distinguishing part is their Breeding.
The whole sex are generally quick and sharp. I believe, I may be allowed to say, generally so: for you rarely see them lumpish and heavy, when they are children; as boys will often be. If a woman be well bred, and taught the proper management of her natural wit, she proves generally very sensible and retentive.
And, without partiality, a woman of sense and manners is the finest and most delicate part of GOD’s Creation, the glory of Her Maker, and the great instance of His singular regard to man, His darling creature: to whom He gave the best gift either GOD could bestow or man receive. And ’tis the sordidest piece of folly and ingratitude in the world, to withhold from the sex the due lustre which the advantages of education gives to the natural beauty of their minds.
A woman well bred and well taught, furnished with the additional accomplishments of knowledge and behaviour, is a creature without comparison. Her society is the emblem of sublimer enjoyments, her person is angelic, and her conversation heavenly. She is all softness and sweetness, peace, love, wit, and delight. She is every way suitable to the sublimest wish, and the man that has such a one to his portion, has nothing to do but to rejoice in her, and be thankful.
On the other hand, Suppose her to be the very same woman, and rob her of the benefit of education, and it follows—          If her temper be good, want of education makes her soft and easy. Her wit, for want of teaching, makes her impertinent and talkative. Her knowledge, for want of judgement and experience, makes her fanciful and whimsical. If her temper be bad, want of breeding makes her worse; and she grows haughty, insolent, and loud. If she be passionate, want of manners makes her a termagant and a scold, which is much at one with Lunatic. If she be proud, want of discretion (which still is breeding) makes her conceited, fantastic, and ridiculous. And from these she degenerates to be turbulent, clamorous, noisy, nasty, the devil!…
The great distinguishing difference, which is seen in the world between men and women, is in their education; and this is manifested by comparing it with the difference between one man or woman, and another.
And herein it is that I take upon me to make such a bold assertion, That all the world are mistaken in their practice about women. For I cannot think that GOD Almighty ever made them so delicate, so glorious creatures; and furnished them with such charms, so agreeable and so delightful to mankind; with souls capable of the same accomplishments with men: and all, to be only Stewards of our Houses, Cooks, and Slaves.
Not that I am for exalting the female government in the least: but, in short, I would have men take women for companions, and educate them to be fit for it. A woman of sense and breeding will scorn as much to encroach upon the prerogative of man, as a man of sense will scorn to oppress the weakness of the woman. But if the women’s souls were refined and improved by teaching, that word would be lost. To say, the weakness of the sex, as to judgment, would be nonsense; for ignorance and folly would be no more to be found among women than men.
I remember a passage, which I heard from a very fine woman. She had wit and capacity enough, an extraordinary shape and face, and a great fortune: but had been cloistered up all her time; and for fear of being stolen, had not had the liberty of being taught the common necessary knowledge of women’s affairs. And when she came to converse in the world, her natural wit made her so sensible of the want of education, that she gave this short reflection on herself: “I am ashamed to talk with my very maids,” says she, “for I don’t know when they do right or wrong. I had more need go to school, than be married.”
I need not enlarge on the loss the defect of education is to the sex; nor argue the benefit of the contrary practice. ’Tis a thing will be more easily granted than remedied. This chapter is but an Essay at the thing: and I refer the Practice to those Happy Days (if ever they shall be) when men shall be wise enough to mend it.

Hurt

Hurt

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

Cross Cultural Relationships

 In today's global world, it’s easier than ever before to meet – and find common ground – with someone from another country and culture. Although exciting, marrying/dating someone with a background very different from your own has the potential to challenge you in ways that you might not predict.

 ...

Cross-cultural relationships are complicated to navigate. Once the novelty wears off, the differences can create a rift between partners. But the differences can also bring the couple closer by compelling them to communicate about things that are taken for granted by same-culture couples.

......

Just as every culture has its beliefs systems, every family also has a series of beliefs that are inherited. Being in a cross-cultural relationship provides a great chance to review those ideas. For those women in cross cultural relationships, redetermining your beliefs about your own sense of self worth and getting clear on your personal and emotional boundaries is essential.

........

Here are several issues to consider before you get involved in an intercultural marriage/relationships:

1. Gender Roles

2. Extended Family

3. Prejudices and Social Attitudes

4.Religion

5.Where to live

6. Personality

Perpetual Rollar Coaster

Sometimes LIFE just seems soooooo overwhelming. It feels like I'm on a perpetual roller-coaster - whether I'm facing a health crisis,death, my friends' attempts for suicide, balancing overly-full schedules while spending time with classes(or carrier)/ friends, and on and on and on. Somewhere in there should, of course, be some time to unwind, to relax, to have some re-creation time. At some point in the midst of the seemingly endless hectic chaos, I sometimes remember - Oh,yes! - that God is with me even when I forget that God is here to
help and guide me with the next step - even though I don't know what the next step will be. God is here to listen and have an ongoing and growing conversation with each of us and of course with me too. Reminders are so helpful.

I have found that life is so chock-full of choices and possibilities, that I sometimes have no idea which path to pursue. In pursuing a particular possibility, my mind leaps to various alternatives if one path looks like it might be blocked by an impenetrable hedge. I still try to see if the assumption of the hedge is correct, but my mind
races to find other paths - just in case. It reminds me one of my favorite poems, which I read in one random blog or book when I was sitting at Barnes Noble:

"THE ROAD NOT TAKEN"

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I may not know where the next path leads, but God does.....

Amazing Gift

Imagine every morning a bank will deposit 86400 Dollars into an account for you to do with as you please.  You may spend the entire amount that day but you cannot rollover what remains.  What you do not spend is lost.  But every morning when you wake-up you will find another 86400 Dollars in your account.  Be aware that the bank may cancel the arrangement at any time.  The bank can say the game is over without forewarning.

What would you do?

This game is real, every person has such a magic bank, it is called time.  Every morning we are gifted 86400 seconds of life.  What we have not used-up at the end of the day will be lost.  But every morning the account is filled again.

So then, what do you do with your daily 86400 seconds?

Letters

…no matter what format, is a loss romantics the world over - however some of us are left - will always mourn.

..Love letter costs not much, it takes some effort and a little time, but the result is everlasting. 

 Not surprisingly/ unfortunately people today prefer the world's most annoying instrument, the cell phone. The intrusive contraption demands less concentration and therefore less commitment.  Mind you, in certain cases it's understandable, now that selling personal memorabilia to the press has become big business. And divorce lawyers counsel, "Don't text it!" 

 What is truly sad about the death of the love letter is that an entire aspect of romantic expression known to our grandparents has now vanished. Back in the good old days, people got to know each other through words rather than through deeds. Or, translation: syntax rather than sex. Relationships were more stable as a result. Just imagine if young people would correspond with each other for one year before taking the plunge. Would they take it?  Probably not, but then I am assuming they both know how to write. 

 Of course, some people are better at writing love letters than others. I have a personal favorite that went as follows: 

"Dear X, There's a marvelous line in Romeo and Juliet when Romeo, having avenged Mercutio's death, is banished from Verona. ‘Heaven is here, where Juliet lives’, he proclaimed. However sudden this may sound, or corny, this is how I've felt about you since the first moment I met you. Love, Max."

...Women (far more than men) are the victims of the love letter's demise. They like to be wooed, and nothing is better for a courtship battle than a letter. Being pounced on is not a woman's idea of romance, or so I believe, but then again I'm awfully old-fashioned. And it is far harder to win a woman's heart than to win her body.

Moreover, shyness does not inhibit when writing, at least not nearly as much as it does when speaking.  This is why today's lack of love letters is a paradox. We are a far more prurient society, exposing ourselves in the most ludicrous manner, yet we will not write from the heart.

The Paradox of Our Time

The paradox of our time is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. 

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.We have bigger houses and smaller families,more conveniences,but less time. 

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

 We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this post to you, and a time when you can choose to read, or just move on.

....

Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them.

Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

Keep learning. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."

…and remember-life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

O Tell Me The Truth About Love

Kimine göre ufak bir çocuktur aşk,
Kimine göre bir kuş,
Kimi der, onun üstünde durur dünya,
Kimi der, kalp kuruş;
Ama komşuya sordum, nedense yüzüme
Mânalı mânalı baktı,
Karısı bir kızdı bir kızdı, sormayın,
Aşkedecekti tokadı.


Şıpıtık terliğe mi benzer yoksa
Yoksa kandil çöreğine mi,
Hacıyağına mı benzer dersin kokusu
Yoksa leylak çiçeğine mi?
Çalı gibi dikenli mi, batar mı eline,
Andırır mı yoksa pufla yastıkları,
Keskin mi kenarı yoksa yatar mı eline?
Alla'sen söyle nedir aşkın aslı astarı!


Tarih kitapları dokundurur geçer
Köşesinde kenarında,
Hele bir lâfı açılmaya görsün
Şirket vapurlarında;
Eksik olmaz gazetelerden, bilhassa
İntihar haberlerinde,
Mâniler düzmüşler gördüm üstüne
Telefon rehberlerinde.


Aç kurtlar gibi ulur mu dersin
Bando gibi gümbürder mi yoksa,
Taklit edebilir misin istesen kemençede,
Ne dersin piyanoda çalınsa;
Çiftetelli gibi coşturur mu herkesi
Yoksa ağıraksak bir hava mı?
İstediğin zaman kesilir mi sesi?
Alla'sen söyle nedir aşkın aslı astarı!

Bir hâl oldum çardakların altında
Onu araya araya,
Küçüksu'ya baktım, orada da yok,
Boşuna çıktım Çamlıca'ya;
Anlamadım gitti bülbülün şarkısını,
Bir acayip gülün lisanı da;
Benim bildiğim o kümeste değildi
Ne de yatağın altında.


Aklına esince çıkarabilir mi dilini,
Başı döner mi asma salıncakta,
At yarışlarında mı geçirir hafta tatilini,
Usta mı düğüm atmakta,
Millet der peygamber demez mi,
Para mevzuunda nedir efkârı,
Borç alır borcunu ödemez mi?
Alla'sen söyle nedir aşkın aslı astarı!


Ona rastladığı zaman duyduğu şeyleri
Kabil değil unutamazmış insan,
Yolunu gözlerim bacak kadardan beri
Ama o geçmedi bile yanımdan;
Merdiven dayadım otuz beşine,
Öğrenemedim gitti bir türlü,
Nemene mahlûktur bu düşerler peşine
Bunca insan geceli gündüzlü?


Gelsin ya, nasıl, pat diye gelir mi dersin
Burnumu karıştırırken tatlı tatlı,
Ya tutar yatakta bastırırsa sabahleyin?
Talih bu ya, otobüste nasırıma basmalı!
Gelişi yoksa havalardan anlaşılır mı,
Selâmı efendice mi yoksa gider mi aşırı,
Değiştirir mi dersin bir kalemle hayatımı?
Alla'sen söyle nedir aşkın aslı astarı!


Wystan Hugh AUDEN

 -----

O Tell me the Truth About Love

 Some say love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go around,
Some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.

Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.

Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway guides.

Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like Classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.

I looked inside the summer-house;
It wasn't over there;
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed.

Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.

When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.