Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…

The book How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bedby Graham Masterton has a chapter on how to choose a lover. It highlights red flags for men who need to be approached with caution. There is a whole list of potentially bad signs, including neglecting to shower in the previous week and talking only about himself.
The list of bad features also includes professions to avoid. Can you guess the first profession on the list? OK, I think you should be able to meta-guess given the fact that I am writing about it. Indeed, the list on page 64 starts:

Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…

I am an expert on NOT avoiding mathematicians: in fact, I’ve married three of them and dated x number of them. That isn’t necessarily because I like mathematicians so much; I just do not meet anyone else.
When I was a student I had a theory that mathematicians are different from physicists. My theory was based on two conferences on mathematical physics I attended in a row. The first one was targeted for mathematicians and the second for physicists. The first one was very quiet, and the second one was all boozing and partying. So I decided that mathematicians are introverts and physicists are extroverts. I was sure then that my second husband chose a wrong field, because he liked booze and parties.
By now, years later, I’ve met many more mathematicians, and I have to tell you that they are varied. It is impossible and unfair to describe mathematicians as a type. One mathematician even became the star of an erotic movie. I write this essay for girls who are interested in dating mathematicians. I am not talking about math majors here, I am talking about mathematicians who do serious research. Do I have a word of advice?
I do have several words of caution. While they don’t apply to all mathematicians, it’s worth keeping them in mind.

First, there are many mathematicians who, like my first husband, are very devoted to mathematics. I admire that devotion, but it means that they plan to do mathematics on Saturday nights and prefer to spend vacation at their desks. If they can only fit in one music concert per year, it is not enough for me. Of course, this applies to anyone who is obsessed by his work.

Second, there are mathematicians who believe that they are very smart. Smarter than many other people. They expand their credibility in math to other fields. They start going into biology, politics and relationships with the charisma of an expert, when in fact they do not have a clue what they are talking about.

Third, there are mathematicians who enjoy their math world so much that they do not see much else around them. The jokes are made about this type of mathematician:

What is the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted one? The extroverted one looks at your shoes, rather than at his own shoes.

Yes, I have met a lot of mathematicians like that. Do you think that their wives complain that their husbands do not notice their new haircuts? No. Such triviality is not worth mentioning. Their wives complain that their husbands didn’t notice that the furniture was repossessed or that their old cat died and was replaced by a dog. My third husband was like that. At some point in my marriage I discovered that he didn’t know the color of my eyes. He didn’t know the color of his eyes either. He wasn’t color-blind: he was just indifferent. I asked him as a personal favor to learn the color of my eyes by heart and he did. My friend Irene even suggested creating a support group for the wives of such mathematicians.

While you need to watch out for those traits, there are also things I like about mathematicians. Many mathematicians are indeed very smart. That means it is interesting to talk to them. Also, I like when people are driven by something, for it shows a capacity for passion.

Mathematicians are often open and direct. Many mathematicians, like me, have trouble making false statements. I stopped playing —Mafia— because of that. I prefer people who say what they think and do not hold back.

There is a certain innocence among some mathematicians, and that reminds me of the words of the Mozart character in Pushkin’s poetic drama, Mozart and Salieri: —And genius and villainy are two things incompatible, aren’t they?— I feel this relates to mathematicians as well. Many mathematicians are so busy understanding mathematics, they are not interested in plotting and playing games.
Would I ever date a mathematician again? Yes, I would.

Written by Tanya

The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie...

 Our relationships are mirrors-who we choose, who we let choose us, how people treat us, how we allow ourselves to be treated, how we stay, how we leave, how we handle the hard patches and the good times-it’s all a microcosm of our own personalities. Every relationship you’ve had says something about who you are and what you want, even if (especially if!) the relationship didn’t work. Often, when a relationship fails, it’s even more defining and instructive. Each relationship gets you to a new place and can help you see what you don’t want as well as what you really do want.

Finding your truth by thoughtfully examining your past relationships is the only way to use your truth for better future relationships. What happened, and how does that clarify matters for you? What do you want?What are your deal breakers? Only you can answer these questions.

Relationships are like recipes. When a recipe doesn’t work, you have to do something differently the next time. Change the ingredients and you change the result. You take it or leave it—keep what worked in each relationship as you choose the next one, but learn to leave behind the dysfunctional parts. It takes some self-analysis, but you can do that. Anyone can.And if your relationship does work, learn to leave it alone. Don’t over think what’s good. Are you creating problems where none existed before? That says something about you, too.

My past relationships have consisted of what I sometimes think of as ill-conceived recipes. Each was missing something, or had too much of something else. Whatever your story is take a magnifying glass to it and look to see if there’s a flaw in your approach to relationships-how you started, how you communicated, where you’ve been, where you are now, and what it all means to you. What you find there can tell you everything you need to know about what you should do next-what you should take, what you should leave, who you want to be with..

Your love should never be offered….

Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger,
Only to someone who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive.

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me”

There is no pleasure without a tincture of bitterness.

 Paulo Coelho

Personal Learning Networks- PLN

 For those who has never heard of anything about personal learning environments, it is time to join different learning networks. But what is a personal learning network, and why is it so helpful for educators nowadays?

 Well, let's take a look:

 A personal learning network consists of the people, places, and things that help you learn. By definition, every lifelong learner has a PLN, whether the person realizes it or not. Also, every person who has a PLN is a lifelong learner. Let’s imagine, for example, that you are a PhD student and working with middle school kids from science classes. Your PLN might look like the following:

Why is a PLN important?

Having an active personal learning network is important for a number of reasons:

1. Lifelong learning: A PLN helps you learn and grow. Your professional and personal development is important for you and your students. If you are an active, lifelong learner, you’ll naturally model that process for your students.
2. Community: All learning is social. When we learn something new, we want to share it with others. Having a PLN connects you with others, helping you share discoveries, triumphs, and troubles.
3. PD shift: Professional development has been shifting for some time now, from daylong sessions with speakers and room filled with teachers to a more individualized approach. A PLN helps you get a little professional development every day rather than all in one marathon session.
4. Conversation: Having a PLN puts you in the center of the educational conversation, letting you shape new trends and reform efforts.

How can I develop a PLN?

Start with what you have. Draw a cluster, putting yourself at the center and writing down all the people, places, and things that help you learn. Think about the following possibilities:

• Colleagues at your school or from previous experiences (depending your interest area)
• Students, from whom you learn every day
• Friends and family members
• Professional organizations such as the  NARST, HASTI, AERA, ASTE, NSTA, IJESE, NABT, CSTA
• Newsletters such as The Thoughtful Inquirer,Girls like Biology, Boys Like Physics.
• Social media such as Twitter (such as #edchat, #scichat, #sschat), Edweb, Linkedin
• Programs such as NOVA or Mythbusters (science teachers), Quest Atlantis, scienceline, learn atmospheric science explorers
• Books such as Inquire: A Guide to 21st Century Learning, Handbook of research on science education
• Conferences and other professional-development opportunities such as Webinars ,
• Museums, fairs, reenactments, and other educational experiences: The Museum of Science and Industry

Cirilciplak

                                            ( Nue couchee/1970)           

Çırılçıplak Küstahlığımı nezaketim götürdü Saadece kendime bakakaldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü Gizlenen insanların ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Selâmımı tanıdıklar götürdü. Saygı bekleyince alçaldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü Kendini beğenmişlerin ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Ağlamayı ölenler götürdü. Kendimi ölmez sanınca ufaldım, Kararsızlık bir an sürdü. Ölülerle dirilerin arasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Sonsuzluğu ufuklar götürdü. Yarattığım dünyaların içinde daraldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü. Başlangıç ile bitiş ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak. Aydınlığı bulutlar götürdü. Yıldızlara doğru yol aldım. Kararsızlık bir an sürdü. Varanlar ile duranlar ortasında ben kaldım, Çırılçıplak.

Özdemir Asaf

Bugun Farkli Birsey Deneyecegim

bugun
evet
bugun...
yeni bir sey deneyecegim
(yenilik...!)
iste boyle yazmayi
bir ayseozyilmazel
bazen biraz yilmazozdil
bir ergen kizin lise edebiyat dergisi coskusu
(uygunundan bir tane de murathan mungan siiri cakabilsem suraya resmi tamamlayacak)
boyle yazinca
...
sanirim cok etkileyici bir seyler
oluyor
hayatimizda
(senin hayatinda... benim hayatimda... biraz daha nokta koyayim gelmisken.................)

[arada kalkip yemegi karistirabiliyorum, nasil olsa bilinc akisi. biraz tuz. biraz enter tusu. biraz daha nokta....]

brian ferry roportajini okudum kalkmisken.
cok guzel kadinlarin
-mesela simarik modellerin-
pesine
dusmeyin demis.
(40 yasindan sonra anlamistir dedi 40 yasindan sonra anlayan bir baskasi)
brian agabey:
simarik model
senin elinin altinda olan
bir
olgu
(dur ne zamandir nokta koymadik.........)
bizim sagimiz
solumuz
(sonra tekrar saga. bazi seyler unutulmuyor: trt trafik egitimi)
calvin klein'in erkek modelleri
victoria'nin sirri melekleri ile
cevrili mi
sanirsin?

yeterince duygusal ve ic paralayici olamadigimi farkettigim icin biraz daha eften puften seylerden bahsetmeliyim onumuzdeki satirlarda.
(kizim enter'i unutma. uzun cumleyi ousterhout da yazar)

utu
utu yapmam gerektigi
hatirlatildi
(oh firsat bu firsat)
sen bana
eskiden
onu yap
bunu yap
demezdin
oysa... simdi?
utu yap ha. utu yap
utu
isitilmis bir demir parcasi:
bagrima basiyorum.
seni
bastigim gibi
(sembolik cinsel gondermeler)
....
...boyle yazinca beynim bosaliyor tamamen. simdi anladim niye tercih edilen bir stil oldugunu; allahim sen beni kisa cumlelerle imtihan etme yarabbim.
/over and out.

(buraya da siirsel bir alinti. orselenmislige dair bir seyler. yer kalirsa yasanmisliklar)

The Education of Women

(The Harvard Classics)

The Education of Women

Daniel Defoe

I HAVE often thought of it as one of the most barbarous customs in the world, considering us as a civilized and a Christian country, that we deny the advantages of learning to women. We reproach the sex every day with folly and impertinence; while I am confident, had they the advantages of education equal to us, they would be guilty of less than ourselves.
One would wonder, indeed, how it should happen that women are conversible at all; since they are only beholden to natural parts, for all their knowledge. Their youth is spent to teach them to stitch and sew or make baubles. They are taught to read, indeed, and perhaps to write their names, or so; and that is the height of a woman’s education. And I would but ask any who slight the sex for their understanding, what is a man (a gentleman, I mean) good for, that is taught no more? I need not give instances, or examine the character of a gentleman, with a good estate, or a good family, and with tolerable parts; and examine what figure he makes for want of education.
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond; and must be polished, or the lustre of it will never appear. And ’tis manifest, that as the rational soul distinguishes us from brutes; so education carries on the distinction, and makes some less brutish than others. This is too evident to need any demonstration. But why then should women be denied the benefit of instruction? If knowledge and understanding had been useless additions to the sex, GOD Almighty would never have given them capacities; for he made nothing needless. Besides, I would ask such, What they can see in ignorance, that they should think it a necessary ornament to a woman? or how much worse is a wise woman than a fool? or what has the woman done to forfeit the privilege of being taught? Does she plague us with her pride and impertinence? Why did we not let her learn, that she might have had more wit? Shall we upbraid women with folly, when ’tis only the error of this inhuman custom, that hindered them from being made wiser?
The capacities of women are supposed to be greater, and their senses quicker than those of the men; and what they might be capable of being bred to, is plain from some instances of female wit, which this age is not without. Which upbraids us with Injustice, and looks as if we denied women the advantages of education, for fear they should vie with the men in their improvements….
[They] should be taught all sorts of breeding suitable both to their genius and quality. And in particular, Music and Dancing; which it would be cruelty to bar the sex of, because they are their darlings. But besides this, they should be taught languages, as particularly French and Italian: and I would venture the injury of giving a woman more tongues than one. They should, as a particular study, be taught all the graces of speech, and all the necessary air of conversation; which our common education is so defective in, that I need not expose it. They should be brought to read books, and especially history; and so to read as to make them understand the world, and be able to know and judge of things when they hear of them.
To such whose genius would lead them to it, I would deny no sort of learning; but the chief thing, in general, is to cultivate the understandings of the sex, that they may be capable of all sorts of conversation; that their parts and judgements being improved, they may be as profitable in their conversation as they are pleasant.
Women, in my observation, have little or no difference in them, but as they are or are not distinguished by education. Tempers, indeed, may in some degree influence them, but the main distinguishing part is their Breeding.
The whole sex are generally quick and sharp. I believe, I may be allowed to say, generally so: for you rarely see them lumpish and heavy, when they are children; as boys will often be. If a woman be well bred, and taught the proper management of her natural wit, she proves generally very sensible and retentive.
And, without partiality, a woman of sense and manners is the finest and most delicate part of GOD’s Creation, the glory of Her Maker, and the great instance of His singular regard to man, His darling creature: to whom He gave the best gift either GOD could bestow or man receive. And ’tis the sordidest piece of folly and ingratitude in the world, to withhold from the sex the due lustre which the advantages of education gives to the natural beauty of their minds.
A woman well bred and well taught, furnished with the additional accomplishments of knowledge and behaviour, is a creature without comparison. Her society is the emblem of sublimer enjoyments, her person is angelic, and her conversation heavenly. She is all softness and sweetness, peace, love, wit, and delight. She is every way suitable to the sublimest wish, and the man that has such a one to his portion, has nothing to do but to rejoice in her, and be thankful.
On the other hand, Suppose her to be the very same woman, and rob her of the benefit of education, and it follows—          If her temper be good, want of education makes her soft and easy. Her wit, for want of teaching, makes her impertinent and talkative. Her knowledge, for want of judgement and experience, makes her fanciful and whimsical. If her temper be bad, want of breeding makes her worse; and she grows haughty, insolent, and loud. If she be passionate, want of manners makes her a termagant and a scold, which is much at one with Lunatic. If she be proud, want of discretion (which still is breeding) makes her conceited, fantastic, and ridiculous. And from these she degenerates to be turbulent, clamorous, noisy, nasty, the devil!…
The great distinguishing difference, which is seen in the world between men and women, is in their education; and this is manifested by comparing it with the difference between one man or woman, and another.
And herein it is that I take upon me to make such a bold assertion, That all the world are mistaken in their practice about women. For I cannot think that GOD Almighty ever made them so delicate, so glorious creatures; and furnished them with such charms, so agreeable and so delightful to mankind; with souls capable of the same accomplishments with men: and all, to be only Stewards of our Houses, Cooks, and Slaves.
Not that I am for exalting the female government in the least: but, in short, I would have men take women for companions, and educate them to be fit for it. A woman of sense and breeding will scorn as much to encroach upon the prerogative of man, as a man of sense will scorn to oppress the weakness of the woman. But if the women’s souls were refined and improved by teaching, that word would be lost. To say, the weakness of the sex, as to judgment, would be nonsense; for ignorance and folly would be no more to be found among women than men.
I remember a passage, which I heard from a very fine woman. She had wit and capacity enough, an extraordinary shape and face, and a great fortune: but had been cloistered up all her time; and for fear of being stolen, had not had the liberty of being taught the common necessary knowledge of women’s affairs. And when she came to converse in the world, her natural wit made her so sensible of the want of education, that she gave this short reflection on herself: “I am ashamed to talk with my very maids,” says she, “for I don’t know when they do right or wrong. I had more need go to school, than be married.”
I need not enlarge on the loss the defect of education is to the sex; nor argue the benefit of the contrary practice. ’Tis a thing will be more easily granted than remedied. This chapter is but an Essay at the thing: and I refer the Practice to those Happy Days (if ever they shall be) when men shall be wise enough to mend it.