Have you ever broken up with someone? Left a job that you were not happy in? Or cut something out of your life that was not working for you? When you go through any of these, I know it is natural try to numb your pain by reaching out for things that make you feel good: martinis, French fries, ice-cream etc. But while numbing yourself is a coping strategy, it is not affective one.
What you need to do is that have some distances who is causing your pain. Even if it is the last thing you need to the most… Work on building your self-confidence. Keep the focus on yourself for yourself.
Until he broke up with you did not realize that you were too busy taking care of him. It is great moment to moving on your fabulous new life.
But before you should try facing up your relationship. Facing up what your relationship was actually like- not just remembering or rewriting the good or bad parts, but dealing with how it really was between you and realizing that the breakup makes sense on some level- is the most critical step you can take in the being honest perhaps is the only one way if you want to grow after this experience. Avoiding truth not only prevents you from learning from your mistakes, is also reinforces the belief that you need to fool yourself to get by. Stop teaching yourself like that!!Take this golden opportunity and get real about your relationship and what really happened. Admit that it was not great all the time…
Sure it is a slow process. Once you accept that it is a slow process, you will be surprised at how quickly you heal. And yes, that magic moment will come when it will not even occur to you thinking about him.
Accept this: not all men but most of them have a tendency to recover themselves more quickly from the setback of heartbreak. The truth is that man and women are wired differently and tend to deal with their breakups in different ways. Men seem to be more sexually driven by nature and seek companionship more frequently and less selectively. On the other hand, while a woman in the midst of heartbreak, she may not able to even think of looking at another guy. Keep this reality on your mind!
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