Some of us grow up believing that bad things don’t happen to good people. Unfortunately, they happen to all of us. Our friends and loved ones die. We develop life-threatening illnesses. Our marriages dissolve, sometimes unexpectedly.
In the past few decades, researchers consistently have found that most who have experienced a traumatic event report that something good came out of it.
Good from Traumatic Events: People in studies describe similar kinds of positive changes after experiencing traumas. Many who have experienced a traumatic life event say they now appreciate life more. In a study at the University of Minnesota,students were asked about how the worst experience of their life affected them.One described the after-effects of the death of grandparents:
“Death of (sic) a close relative opened my eyes to how precious life is and how you have to cherish every moment.... Life has so much more meaning to me after experiencing the sorrow and despair...”
Other people say their priorities in life changed after experiencing a traumatic life event and made their relationships stronger and closer than they were before the trauma. A University of Minnesota student describes the after-effects of his or her father’s battle with cancer: “My beliefs changed in that I saw life differently and took the time to enjoy the little things... Each day is a new day, and should be taken advantage of... I also value relationships with friends and family more...they are very important because you never know what life will throw at you.”
Traumatic events can also lead people to recognize and appreciate their own strengths , allowing for new perspectives on life. This student discusses changes resulting from divorce and job loss:
“I have become so much more confident of my abilities and have done a lot of soul searching. When I got divorced and then lost my job I literally hit total rock bottom... Having gone through this experience has made me into a lot more optimistic person. Most set-backs I encounter now I view as just part of the lessons on my journey to a more productive life. "
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