Soul

It is almost 4 am. I am still awake and tired of receiving new information and digesting them. I decided to take a short break with a song called Science and Faith. It made me to think about soul, religion, and human psychology.

According to Islam and Christianity  we each have an immortal soul, that may rot in hell if we don't behave. According to Hinduism we have a soul that will reincarnate until we grow enlightened  enough to not need to reincarnate any further. Buddhism agrees on the reincarnation.

Psychologists also agree we have a personality, but do not know about what happens after we die.

I guess there is no way to describe soul without a personality.There is something in us which is more than my habits, limitations and combined past.

 Taking a scientist perspective, I should rethink the existence of soul. Because neurologists do not think we have a soul. They measure brain activity and thin that is what there is to our consciousness. Our sense of "I am "' is, to them, only a side product of the complex workings of the brain.

Camdan Fanus

Camdan bir fanusun
icindeymissiniz gibi,

Ne esi ne benzeri vardir yasadiginizin,

Hani olurda biri vazgecer;
“bitsin” derse,
O cam fanus aniden yere birakilmis gibi,

Tum kiriklarini sacar etrafina,

Acisi oyle hemen hissedilmez.

Cam kiriklari toplanirken,

Can acidikca,

Soylenenler idrak edildikce,

Hayal kirikliklari,

Ve kirginliklarla ile yuzlesildikce

Baslar can daha da acimaya,

Ne zamansiz ,

Ne kadar hazirliksiz yakalandim dersiniz.

Baktiniz olmuyor,

Kendinizi yuzustu birakirsiniz,

Cam kiriklarinin ve hayal kirikliklarinin ustune.

Hareket etmeye calistikca,

Caninizin inceden inceye,

Yandigini hissedersiniz.

Onceleri agrilari cok hissedilir,

Duyarsizliginiz arttikca,

Acinin hafifledini gorur,

Kabullenirsiniz

Fanusun artik kirildigini.

How Not To Follow Your Dreams

Sometimes I get together with some of my friends to talk about what we want to do with our life, our dreams and ambitions. Today, she brought me one of those office  posters that I have seen up in different places.It was entitled “How Not To Follow Your Dreams.”It recommended that it was very important not to have any idea what you wanted in life, and if you did, to avoid it as much as possible. It was crucial never to mention to anybody what you were doing. It was best to stick to the safe road, in a job where you could never get any fulfilment and to avoid all chance of promotion. But it missed out on one really crucial thing. The most important means to avoid your dreams.Believe that there’s no way you could ever do it.Think small. That’s how you make sure there’s no chance you’ll ever get anywhere near those damned dreams. Remind yourself every day that although you could go out there and change your life, well, it might take a bit of effort and there’s a risk there.

 You want to make sure you keep reminding yourself of all the people you’ve never heard of that you’re sure have failed at things. Keep telling yourself that everything you’ve done that showed an ounce of courage or power was just a fluke.

Buy a TV and cable, and spend all your days and evenings watching it. It’s important to avoid anything inspirational, informative or remotely educational when doing this. Make sure you watch a lot of the news. The news is great for reminding you what an awful place the world is and nothing is really worth doing.
It helps if you can keep reminding yourself of all the terrible things that might happen if you even consider the possibility of living your dreams.

What if you screw it up? What if your friends start hating you for doing something different with your life? What if it gets in the way of all that vital TV watching time?

I was reminded of the reason why it’s important to think differently about yourself if you want to do anything big with your life this week (Since I came here, I realized I have been living  of thinking small). I start thinking about ‘just getting by’, about what I might be able to find out there rather than what I’ve got to offer.

It steals away our creative responses to life. It’s all very well to talk about just taking action, but before you can do anything you need a powerful drive behind it to make that action work. The key lies in how you think about yourself, and the stories you tell about who you are and how the world works.

So this is my advice. If you’re going to avoid your dreams with any effectiveness, you need to keep telling yourself over and over again it’ll never work out. Listen to all the negative people and stories you can find about failure and loss, keep thinking that you’ll never make it, that you don’t have the answer, and that you can’t do it.

That way, you’ll probably never even make it out of bed in the morning, let alone get anywhere near a dream.

Logic, Smart People,Dealing with Intellectual Morons

We all know someone who’s intelligent, but who occasionally defends obviously bad ideas. Why does this happen? How can smart people take up positions that defy any reasonable logic?

Proficiency in argument can easily be used to overpower others, even when you are dead wrong. If you learn a few tricks of logic and debate, you can refute the obvious, and defend the ridiculous. If the people you’re arguing with aren’t as comfortable in the tactics of argument, or aren’t as arrogant as you are, they may even give in and agree with you.

The problem with smart people is that they like to be right and sometimes will defend ideas to the death rather than admit they’re wrong. This is not good at all. Worse, if they got away with it when they were young (say, because they were smarter than their parents, their friends, and their parent’s friends etc.),they’ve probably built an ego around being right and will, therefore defend their perfect record of invented righteousness to the death. Smart people often fall into the trap of preferring to be right even if it’s based in delusion, or results in them, or their loved ones, becoming miserable. 

While dealing those people who are skilled at defending bad ideas you always remember this one simple rule: “because they cannot be proven wrong, does not make them right”. Most of the tricks of logic and debate refute questions and attacks, but fail to establish any true justification for a given idea. For example, just because you can’t prove that I’m not the Queen of England reincarnated doesn’t make it so. So when someone tells you “My plan A is the best because no one has explained how it will fail” know that there is a logical gap in this argument. Simply because no one has described how it will fail, doesn’t necessarily make it the best plan. It’s possible than plans B, C, D and E all have the same quality.

…….

The more homogeneous a group of people are in their thinking, the narrower the range of ideas that the group will openly consider. The more open minded, creative, and courageous a group is, the wider the pool of ideas they’ll be capable of exploring. Some teams of people look to focus groups, consultancies, and research methods to bring in outside ideas, but this rarely improves the quality of thinking in the group itself. Those outside ideas, however bold or original, are at the mercy of the diversity of thought within the group itself. If the group, as a collective, is only capable of approving B level work, it doesn’t matter how many A level ideas you bring to it. Focus groups or other outside sources of information cannot give a team, or its leaders, a soul. A bland homogeneous team of people has no real opinions, because it consists of people with same backgrounds, outlooks, and experiences who will only feel comfortable discussing the safe ideas that fit into those constraints

…

 If you want your smart people to be as smart as possible, seek a diversity of ideas. Find people with different experiences, opinions, backgrounds, weights, heights, races, facial hair styles, colors, past-times, favorite items of clothing, philosophies, and beliefs. Unify them around the results you want, not the means or approaches they are expected to use. It’s the only way to guarantee that the best ideas from your smartest people will be received openly by the people around them. On your own, avoid homogenous books, films, music, food, media and people. Actually experience life by going to places you don’t usually go, spending time with people you don’t usually spend time with. Be in the moment and be open to it.

……

 At any moment on any project there are an infinite number of levels of problem solving. Part of being a truly smart person is to know which level is the right one at a given time. People worry about the wrong thing at the wrong time and apply their intelligence in ways that doesn’t serve the greater good of whatever they’re trying to achieve. Some call this difference in skill wisdom, in that the wise know what to be thinking about, where as the merely intelligent only know how to think. For instance, people who struggle with relationships invest their energy only in improving their appearance (instead of in therapy or other emotional exploration.

………

Smart people, or at least those whose brains have good first gears, use their speed in thought to overpower others. They’ll jump between assumptions quickly, throwing out jargon, bits of logic, and give in. When that doesn’t work, the arrogant or the pompous will throw in some belittlement and use whatever snide or manipulative tactics they have at their disposal to further discourage you from dissecting their ideas. 

So your best defense starts by breaking an argument down into pieces. When they say “it’s obvious we need to execute plan A now.” You say, “hold” on. You’re way ahead of me. For me to follow I need to break this down into pieces.” And without waiting for permission, you should go ahead and do so.

First, nothing is obvious. If it were obvious there would be no need to say so. So your first piece is to establish what isn’t so obvious. What are the assumptions the other guy is glossing over that are worth spending time on? There may be 3 or 4 different valid assumptions that need to be discussed one at a time before any kind of decision can be considered. Take each one in turn, and lay out the basic questions: what problem are we trying to solve? What alternatives to solving it are there? What are the tradeoffs in each alternative? By breaking it down and asking questions you expose more thinking to light, make it possible for others to ask questions, and make it more difficult for anyone to defend a bad idea.

 No one can ever take away your right to think things over, especially if the decision at hand is important. If your mind works best in 3rd or 4th gear, find ways to give yourself the time needed to get there. If when you say “need the afternoon to think this over”, they say “tough. We’re deciding now”. Ask if the decision is an important one. If they say yes, then you should be completely justified in asking for more time to think it over and ask questions”.

Some situations require outside help. Instead of taking a person on directly, get a third party that you both respect, and continue the discussion in their presence. This can be a superior, or simply someone smart enough that the other person might possibly concede points to them.

Websites

The following websites are sites that I like that I thought you might be interested in too.

http://www.pantheon.org/

http://www.worldvaluessurvey.org/

http://www.huntfor.com/arthistory/

http://encyclo.findlaw.com/tablebib.html

http://www.classicalworks.com/

http://newsmap.jp/

http://plato.stanford.edu/

http://www.hyperhistory.com/online_n2/History_n2/a.html

http://encyclo.findlaw.com/tablebib.html

Different Perspectives from Man and Women

Tonight I remembered  meeting  Prof. Dr. Hikmet Ozcetin and what he said to me:"The smarter a woman becomes, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man.". He may be right about this...

And I would like to share..

a short article from one of the magazine....

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally; cause I need conversation and mental stimulation.

I do not need a simple minded man....

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually; cause I do not need to be unequally yoked.

I need a man who is striving for perfection financially; cause i do not need a financial burden and take care of him.

I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman; cause I do not want to explain him the process I go through. And I need a man who is strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect...

in order to be submissive. I must respect him.

I cannot be a submissive to a man who is not taking care of his business, his life etc.

I have no problem being submissive.

He just have to be worthy.

God made a woman to be help mate for man...(It goes both way, by the way)

I cannot help a man, if he cannot help himself.

Am I asking a lot?

Whatever you say is OK;cause "I am worth a lot"

And another article from a male perspective....

Men like smart women. I do. So how is it that all these successful men are not connecting with all these successful women?…


Because there’s much more going on than merely a meeting of the minds.

What never occurs to some women is that:

They’re being evaluated on far more than their most “impressive” traits.

These traits sometimes come with a significant downside that is painful to acknowledge.

Take me, for example. I’m a reasonably bright guy. I make a fair living. I can write a decent joke. These are my good traits. But right behind my good traits are a series of bad traits. Anyone reading this blog can see that:


The flip side of being bright is being opinionated.

The flip side of being analytical is being difficult.

The flip side of being funny is being sarcastic.

The flip side of having moral clarity is being arrogant.

The flip side of being entrepreneurial is being a workaholic.

The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.

Again, not EVERY person who is bright is opinionated, and not EVERY person who is funny is sarcastic.

But there’s enough anecdotal evidence to suggest a strong correlation. And I’m just talking about MYSELF here. And if my good qualities come with bad qualities, have you considered that yours might as well?


So when I hear a woman talk about how “direct” she is, the first thing I think is: “She’s tactless.”

Self-proclaimed “direct” people often tell their dates what they think about them even if the date didn’t ask.

They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.”

If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I’m a “direct” person as well. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. Hey, I’m just being honest over here! What are you getting so upset about?

 See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent.

 Man, he’s not as concerned with whether she’s articulate and on track to make partner at the law firm. That’s what women want in men and they assume it’s of equal importance to them. It’s generally not. Men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. Warmth, affection, nurturing, thoughtfulness. If he finds himself constantly hearing all the things he needs to change, he may just determine that he wants a bright woman who is less challenging. Not a Stepford Wife. Not a bimbo. Not a maid. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant.

Olumu Anlamak

 

Olmek…. Olum…. Son birkac ay icinde art arda anneannem, teyzem, amcam, ve kardesimi kaybettim. Bu buyuk kayiplarin ardindan olum soguklugunu gunluk kosusturmaca icinde olan bana aniden hatirlatti.

 

Olum, ozellikle sevdiklerimi kaybettikten sonra aklimiza dusen,dusundukce bizi karmasaya, belki altust olusa goturen, elimizi kolumuza baglayan, caresizligi hissettiren, kolumuzu kanadimizi kiran bir duygu… Kimimize gore bilinmezlik oldugu icin birazda cildirtici bir duygu.

Nedendir bilinmez insanoglu her ne kadar bu duygudan hoslanmasada hep onu anlamaya calismis, duydugu korkuyu asmak istemistir. Olum hakkinda siirler yazmis, eskilerde dans etmis, belki ona tapinarak olum duygusunu evcillestirip, daha az aci veren bir algiya cevirmeye calismistir.Dinde bu drami aciklamak icin insanogluna buyuk aciklamalar getiren araclardan biri. Inanislar farkli dahi olsa olumun soguklugundan, olume hukmeden guclerden bize haber veren bir arac.Din bize olume hukmeden guclerle nasil iliskiye girebilecegimizi gosteren bir harita gibi adete.Bize, olumun bizi nereye goturdugunden haber veren bir tasitta diyebiliriz belki. Ister reankarnasyona, ister cennet cehenneme inanin her kosulda bizim olum karsinda biraz daha hafiflememize yardim eden inanislar butunlugu.Inandiklarimiz bizi olumle basa cikabilir hale getiriyor. 

 

Olumu anlama cabamiz cocuklugumuzla birlikte baslar. Olumle ilgili ardi ardasi kesilmeyen sorulari anne-babamiza yoneltir olumun ne oldugunu, sonrasini anlamaya calisiriz hepimiz. Gelisimimizin her asamasinda bu caba, sorular sorma, olumle yasama devam eder. Bazen olum duygusunu bastirir, derin bir kabullenise yoneliriz.Bazen cok sevdiklerimizin kaybinin ardindan isyana baslar, yasamimizi surdurmekle ilgili tereddute duseriz. Hepimizin hikayesi farklidir olumu anlama onla basedebilme yolculugunda.

Ünlü sosyolog Amerikalı Peter Berger, kitabi- Dinin Sosyal Gercekligi adli kitabinda insanoglunun olume yaklasimini soyle dile getirir: “Dunya insane icin bir kaos yeridir:olum, hastalik, afet vb acilarin oldugu bir yer…Bu acilar insanoglunun varolus anlayisini karmasaya surup, ruhsal dunyasini altust eder. Bunlarla basedebilmeyi saglayan en anlam verici unsure dindir. Din olume aciklamalar getirir. Olumun, felaketlerin, hastaliklarin arkasinda duran buyuk ‘guc’ un kim oldugunu soyler. ‘Nicin’ sorusuna cevap  bulmamizi saglar. Bu gucle kuracagimiz iliski dogrultusunda acilarimizi dindirecegimiz yonunde bize kilavuzluk eder. Bu sureci yasarken kimimiz dualar okur, kimimiz adaklar adar, ritueller gerceklestirir, kimimiz siirler okur, din kavrami ile olum duygusuyla basetmeye calisiriz.Din insana yasama mesruiyeti verir bu anlamda. Boylece, insan acıları daha kolay atlatabilir;her altust olustan sonra yeniden yasamla, baglarini, yasam ötesiyle kurduğunu dusundugu guc araciligiyla atlatabilir, bu gucle iliskisini dahada gelistirdigini dusunebilir’.

……..

İslam dininde de insane olumu, acilariyla ilgili farkli aciklamalar ve aktiviteler var. Bu etkinlikleri kullanarak olumu daha anlasilir, katlanilir hale getirenlerden biriyim bendenizde. Acilarin ardindan, her altust olusun ardindan kendindeki ruhsal olgunlasmayi, olumu algilama yetisinin degisimini birebir gozleyebilenlerdenim.

……..

Unlu sosyolog Max VVeber’e gore ise din batinin ekonomik gelisimini saglayan en onemli aractir. Sosyologa gore, Endustri devriminde devrimin buyuk cogunlugunu gerceklestiren ulkelerdeki insanlarda protestanligin, hristiyan inancinin getirdigi motivasyon vardi. Ona gore, Avrupa ve ABD de ozellikle protestanlarin yasadigi bolgelerde ekonomik tesebbusler daha buyuk olmustur. Protestanlik insanlari calismaya itmis, insanlarda bu inanc araciligiyla bir haz duygusu olusmustur. Calismayi kutsamak ve insanlardaki bu haz duygusu kisilerin calisma azmini uzun surely hale getirmistir.

Yalnizca hristiyanlik deil, dinlerin buyuk cogunlugunda insanlar calismaya, birbirine yardim etmeye sevkedilir. Bu durum kisilerde ruhsal bir enerji yaratip, birbirleriyle catismayi engellediginden gruplarin uretim potansiyelini arttirir. Kimi dinsel guruplar bu birlik coskusunu kullanip, topluluklarini calismaya seferber etmis, buyuk ekonomik basarilara imzalar atmislardir.

…..

Ozellikle birlik ruhu ve gurupsallik algisi basariyi tetikleyen unsurlarin onemlilerinden biridir. Farkli egitim guruplarina, sirket guruplarina, yada siyas guruplara yada birliklere bakarak birlik ruhunun faydasini acikca gorebiliriz. İngiliz din sosyologu Alan Ald-ridge, kitabi-Modern Dunya’da Din ‘de batidaki dinsel guruplarin biri uzerine- Mormonlar uzerine arastirmalar yapmis, kaynaklarini nasil harekete gecirdiklerine bakmistir.One gore, bu gurubun dayanisma girisimcileri, yardimseverleri paranin ve yayinlarin harekete gecmesinde cok buyuk bir paya sahiptir.Bu, dinsel gurubun icindeki genc uyelere basarili bir sosyallesme agi saglamaktadir.Ayni zamanda genc bireylerde cinsel kimligin yapilasmasinada katkida bulunmaktadir. Uzun vadede kulturel devamliligi da saglayip, bireylerin cevreleriyle dengeli bir iletisim kurmalarini gelistirmektedir.

Sanirim bircok sosyolog dinsel dayanismanin toplumlardaki butunlesmeyi saglamasinda etkin oldugunda hem fikirdir.Birey icinde bulundugu dinsel guruptaki dayanisma gucu araciligyla cesitli degerleri ogrenip, kimligini buna dayandirarak gelistirir. Belki suanda globallesme bu dayanisma gucune bir balta vurmustur ama  kuskusuz  ayni inanc gurubundaki insanlarda hissedilen aidiyet duysunu etkileyememistir.Ornegin gunumuzde tarikat gibi dinsel guruplarda bu dinsel dayanisma gucunun farkli alanlarda hala ne kadar kuvvetli olabildigini gorebiliriz. Ozellikle olagandisi donemlerde savas, deprem vb. Donemlerde dinsel dayanismanin tartismasiz gucunu, toplumsal moral duzeyini dengede tutusunu gorebiliriz.